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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in abusedbutcaring's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, June 11th, 2009
1:36 pm
Writing helps me cope
Hi.  My name is Tamara and I am new to this community.  I am a domestic abuse survivor.  A little over a year ago I left the man who was abusing me and I am doing much better.  For the most part I have moved on, but once in awhile I think about what happened and it hurts.  It makes it hard to trust anyone.  Fortunately, I am with a great man who loves me for me and does not hurt me in any way.  I have always found comfort in writing.  A lot of my poems and prose are about overcoming abuse.  The writing in this book also includes various issues like suicide, love, mourning, death, revenge, growing up, and finding oneself. 

I recently got my book, "Stumbling and Mumbling", published and it is up for sale.  I know I am not supposed to advertise here but I believe that people here may be able to relate to what I have written and it may even help them.  I have learned the importance of knowing that you are not alone in your fight.

My book is being sold for $7.99.  It is 144 pages of my poetry and prose.

If you're interested, click below:

Monday, May 25th, 2009
8:55 pm

Yet another night of laying in bed with nothing but painful memories flooding through my mind.
Afraid to close my eyes.
Mad by the effect and power im letting him have.
I look down at my bruised body trying to remember why im getting in fights with draws in my sleep.
Wondering what im going to do next.
Praying this wont lead to someone getting hurt.
Dreading the fact that as soon as I stop writing this the lights will be turned off.
The room will be still, dark and quite.

My eyes remain wide open.
d every time I turn I get images of the door suddenly opening then he’s towering above me.
But a few seconds later he’s gone.

im alone

my body aches

my stomach burns

my lips are ripped but they remain sealed

tears are falling down my face

im numb

I slowly and softly sing and rock myself to sleep.
where yet again im bombed with feelings and thoughts.
more pain in my dreams.
he just wont go away
. I want to hide, scream and cry.
but he still seems to have an impact on everything to do with my life.
the after effect is almost worse.
hopes seem crushed and life seems unfair
. im stuck in a storm unable to run.
he can go and come as he pleases and there’s nothing I can do.
he’s gone now but it still doesn’t make a difference at least when he’s here I can disconnect from my body but now I have no place to hide I have to feel and acknowledge it all.

Current Mood: numb
Sunday, September 30th, 2007
11:31 pm
First post
I was physically and emotionally abused by a guardian from ages 3-13 and then abused physically, emotionally, and sexually and raped by a boyfriend when I was 15. It's taken me quite some time to even be able to say that with a sort of confidence rather than shame.

That being said, I'm a senior in college and a captain of one of my sports teams. A few of my teammates seem to be in bad relationships, and I was contemplating telling them a bit about my experiences so they can feel like they can relate to someone else, and hopefully I could be someone they could go to if they needed to talk or just someone to give them a hug if it was a bad day.

My question is, does this seem like a good idea? I think I'd be comfortable enough with where I am now (in regards to acceptance of my past and with my teammates) that I could talk about it and not have it come out like I was the one who needed a hug. I know right after my ordeal with my ex-boyfriend all I really wanted was someone who had been through something similar so I didn't feel all alone. At the same time, though, I'm not sure if I would've been able to open up about it then. I also am not sure of the extent to which my teammates' bad relationships extend, and I don't want it to seem like a "green light until something goes horribly wrong" kind of thing.

Thanks, everyone.

Current Mood: reflexive
Wednesday, April 18th, 2007
6:58 pm
looking for ideas:

one of my partners has real difficulty with communication. there is a reason behind it, which i cannot explain in detail without breaching his privacy. he went through some horrible abuse as a child.

all i need though, is ideas/suggestions as to how to help him communicate. any ideas are a helps as i have none. at all.

some more detail:

- they are in another country, face to face and etc isn't an option (yet, trying to hold things together till it is)
- time zones and work make it difficult to chat more frequently
- IRC, email, and voice chat is being used
- writing is frustrating for them
- art is frustrating for them
- when a slight issue comes up, they avoid chatting, specially via voice.
- English isn't there first language, often we arn't sure if the correct meaning is taken from anything typed.
Friday, December 8th, 2006
1:00 pm
Together Our Dreams Come True!
Come and join our brand-new, result-oriented, glbtq friendly community: “Together Our Dreams Come True!” (glbtq_manifest)

This community is dedicated to glbtq (and anybody who respects glbtq) who want a positive outlook in life to come together and support each other in manifesting our dreams.

More than positive thinking is the Spontaneous Fulfillment of Our Dreams! Manifestation is an easy and fun process that everybody can do! The universe is full of infinite possibilities and opportunities so abundant that everybody is included.

"No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind" - Napoleon Hill

Our goals, intentions, desires, and dreams can manifest easily and gracefully through the alliance of two or more people joining together in the spirit of clarity, contribution, gratitude, joy and serenity.

Do you want to tap into the secret of manifestation with the help of a Master Group Mind?

Would you like to benefit from being with a group of resourceful, action-oriented and supportive people who love to see your happiness, fulfillment and success? You can now!

Let us support you in manifesting:

The romantic relationship you desire
The ideal weight and self-image you want to reach
The project you want to complete
The skills you want to excel
The excellent grades you want to get
The financial independence and freedom you want to enjoy
The perfect job you're looking for
The dream holiday you've been longing to have
The best university you want to be part of
The contribution you want to make to your school/ society
The love you want to express to your family
The acceptance you want to receive from your family/ friends/ colleagues
The health and fitness level you want to reach to live your life to the full
The life purpose you're trying to grasp
The book you want to write
The invincible confidence you long to have
The unstoppable happiness you'd like to embrace
And so much more!

Why do you need to do it all on your own? Come and join our community: “Together Our Dreams Come True!” (glbtq_manifest) -- it has been tailor-made to meet your needs. ^_^

Current Mood: grateful
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
8:59 pm
i have a problem that i am hoping to get some advice on.

i have recently been contacted by a former friend who claims to want to talk through things... the problem is that not only am i not prepared to deal with this person anymore... when i told them this, they resorted to the same behaviours that caused the problems in the first place.

as far as i am concerned it's too much and i do not want this person in my life. ever.

the question is: how do i get this across to them?

Current Mood: confused
Wednesday, June 14th, 2006
5:48 pm
Hi, come and join a brand-new glbtq friendly community: happy_gay_life

This is a safe space created for homo/bi/t to share joyful and uplifting experiences of being glbtq.

Ever wonder why there are so few glbtq stories/movies with happy endings? I did.

I figure out that it has to come from us. We've got to count our blessings and share these lovely moments with each other: the special moments that bring smiles to our faces, that make our hearts sing, that tickle us, that move us to tears of joy ... on a daily basis.

Every time you share a line of joy, you're contributing to building a better life for yourself and a positive glbtq image.

Come! Join us and have some fun!
Monday, May 1st, 2006
1:30 am
r*pe dream.
cut just in case, not sure what's gonna come out as i write, so best to be safe. likely some r*ape/sex descrip.

please be safeCollapse )

i don't really know what i want to come of posting this. i just know i needed to tell this to people who would know what i was talking about, because as much as my fiance loves me and cares, all his trying to understand lacks one huge thing. he has never been through this. and for his sake, i'm glad. he's there's to cuddle and protect... more so, i imagine, than most guys would be. but for this, i need more. but i have you all for that, don't i?

thank you.

Current Mood: scared
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
11:00 pm
Shy and New
Hi my name is Molly and im new to LJ and this community. I am very very shy and just writing this is hard.

I am 16 and am having a lot of problems because of my body. Nobody can get past my looks and the fact that I have big boobs. Im not a sex toy - but nobody will listen. And I dont know how to handle this.
Sunday, March 26th, 2006
10:30 pm
I'm not sure if this is allowed... if not, please free feel to delete it.
My friend has just started a community for abuse survivors with emphasis on a variety of people... male, female, all ages, all types of abuse, etc. It's hard to get a new community off the ground, so if anyone here is interested, we'd love to have you!

Friday, January 13th, 2006
11:40 am
potentially triggery game: warning to SA/R*pe victims.
a friend of mine just gave me a link to a game that i feel i should warn everyone about. it's called Dominus Predator-Sim.

details under hereCollapse )

crossposted a lot of places.

Current Mood: exhausted
Sunday, November 20th, 2005
1:02 pm
I'm sorry if this isn't allowed-please delete it if that's the case. I just thought this might apply to someone in here. If not-I hope everyone has a good day! :-)

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

This is a place for those in close relationships with a survivor of abuse. If you are dating, married to, living with, or close friends with a survivor, you are a supporter-this community is for you.
Monday, October 31st, 2005
1:16 am
cut for talk of SACollapse )

Current Mood: depressed
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
7:14 am
New Community
For those who communicate mainly by text rather than verbally. This could be either by necessity or choice.
text_is_life welcomes all. Please feel free to pass on to other appropriate communities, as I don't have access to all that may be appropriate.
Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
1:10 pm
New Comm.
Sorry is advertising isn't allowed, delete if not.
_rememberthem_ is a community dedicated to action against violence towards transvestites/transgenders/transsexuals. Join if you care. x

Current Mood: busy
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
1:13 am
new community

a place to talk, vent and heal.....

Current Mood: hopeful
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
10:44 am
Hi everyone I will be writing in here on a random basis but I have been a victim of serious emotional abuse in my past. I have also lost my father to suicide so this will be a good outlet even though I have a therapist. It will be nice to talk to others who have been through the same...

Current Mood: calm
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
2:18 am
Stop Domestic Abuse
First, I would like to apologize for disabling comments. The reason is that this banner links back to the entry where this banner originated, and there is a long essay there about my views on corporal punishment and child abuse, and I'd like to keep all discussion, comments, and questions in one place. Please understand that I do NOT consider corporal punishment and child abuse equivalent. But you can read about that in my journal, and comment there, too.

The main message I am spreading is this: Domestic violence goes on far too much unchecked. "Corporal punishment", quite often (although not always, obviously), are simply words used to disguise domestic violence. Please. Let's put a stop to this. The home should be a safe place. And spread the word.

Loving is not hurting.

crossposted everywhere.
Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
7:00 pm
Hello, my Name is Kathy and i am currently a Sophmore at Troy Highschool in Fullerton, California. I've have been assigned a Social Issues project in which I have chosen Domestic Violence as my topic. If it is no hassle, I would greatly appreciate an interview with someone through phone, aim or email who has been or currently is associated or directly affected by Domestic Violence. My Email is KcuteYflirtl@yahoo.com . If you are willing and able to respond, please do so ASAP.

thank you for your concideration,
Thursday, March 10th, 2005
5:58 pm
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